Do you remember the days when school started and you just didn’t feel like going? For most kids that wears off after the first couple of weeks. For others, they may need a bit more help than just time and routine can provide, says Dr. Beth Trammel, psychologist and professor of Child Psychology at IU East.
“If your kid is refusing to go to school, meaning you’re really having a hard time getting them up, they’re talking about how much they hate it pretty consistently, you’re fighting them to get them there, that would fall under what we call school refusal,” said Trammel on WIBC’s First Day with Terri Stacy.
It’s more than just that first couple of weeks getting into the new routine, she said.
“It would be a time where I would probably recommend you seek professional help, a therapist, connect with the school and a school counselor. Come up with a plan. They might be able to support you,” she said.
She said a good step would be to have a meeting with the school to see what’s up and why the child says they hate it.
“I’d probably just call a meeting with the school and see, how is my kid behaving? What’s going on? Are there any things I should know about?”
Trammel said it’s important to find the cause that underlies their struggle, to help ease that struggle.
“Is it a social issue? Is it a teacher issue? Is it an academic issue?”
But, if it’s just tough to get your kids motivated, Trammel has some tips.
For younger kids, maybe getting them to look forward to something is the way to go, like getting something special for their lunch.
“Maybe it’s having them go to the grocery with you and pick things specifically that they want in their lunchbox,” she said. Trammel said she sometimes writes notes and leaves them in their lunch boxes.
For older kids, it may take having to earn a privilege.
“I’d encourage creating a sort of contingency plan, that hey, this is the minimum that you have to do at school to be able to earn your Playstation after school.”
Trammel said the first couple of weeks getting adjusted to a new situation is tough for anyone, kids and adults alike, and that you may want to wait until after that to get a true reading on whether the kids are having a truly tough time.
1 comment
Sure, call a therapist when your kid doesn’t want to go to school! Most kids don’t! Traditionally, kids were forced to by their parents under threat of a paddling, and that system worked out pretty darn well for a very long time. That required parents to be parents instead of friends, however, so it’s fallen out of favor in recent years…